Blogs
Social media addiction is real. The definition of addiction is a complex psycho-physiological process manifested in any behavior in which a person finds pleasure and relief and therefore craves but suffers consequences without being able to give it up. Typically, addiction is associated with drugs, gambling, or shopping. But recently, after years of scrolling Instagram before getting out of bed, I couldn't help but wonder how many other people do the same thing. How many of us meet the criteria for social media addiction?
Pessimism is a trait usually associated with negativity and a cynical outlook. But did you know there is another type of pessimism that can play a role in planning for success? Defensive pessimism, as it's called, is a strategy that offers an alternative approach to navigating all the unexpected circumstances life may present.
Talking about trauma is not an easy feat. But if you're constantly reliving a specific traumatic event or cycling through negative thoughts surrounding the trauma, confiding in a trusted loved one can help you feel less alone. A supportive community is integral to trauma recovery, and you don't have to go through it all alone. You can tell about your trauma.
You may hear the term "tough love" thrown around in conversation. While tough love isn't always verbal abuse, it can sometimes cross the line. Knowing the difference between tough love and verbal abuse can help you refrain from using verbal abuse or being the recipient in a verbally abusive situation.
I have an extreme case of schizoaffective anxiety, and I’m preparing for major surgery. I’m getting knee replacements in both knees--one at a time. This anxiety spike about surgery is multi-faceted.
Mindfulness can be a helpful tool for coping with anxiety. Mindfulness is something I have become more familiar with and increasingly utilized over the years as I have practiced it as a strategy for managing my anxiety.
I left the UK to undergo alcohol treatment in South Africa, so it was inevitable that this would alter my perspective somewhat. However, after spending more time in this new environment, several striking realizations about the UK's negative relationship were crystal clear. After talking to numerous people from the same country and background, there was a common thread of early exposure to alcohol having long-lasting consequences. In short, I learned that teenage drinking can lead to addiction.
My depression is a disability. In my six years as a mental health blogger, I have often encountered people who believe that depression is temporary and those who cannot overcome it quickly are weak-willed. Despite various depression awareness campaigns, I have noticed that most people still minimize the effects and consequences of depression. These folks are so close-minded that they hang on to myths and misconceptions even in the face of cold, hard facts. It can be impossible to silence such naysayers for those of us who are living with this condition. But even if we cannot silence them, we must not internalize their misconceptions about depression and realize that depression can be a disability.
One surprising part of my mental health recovery journey was experiencing heightened emotions. I had successfully dodged painful feelings for years, developing a fear of feeling. But now that I'm recovering, I've felt my emotions more deeply, in almost an overwhelming way. Fear of feeling can be difficult to navigate, but it ultimately enhances my life experiences.
Sometimes you need to surrender to yourself. I learned this recently in the most unusual way. To jump right into it: I can't orgasm. Well, that's not entirely true. I can orgasm by myself with relative ease, but I can count the number of times I've orgasmed with another person on one hand, and most of those occasions have been helped along by technology. For a long time, I figured it was just my anatomy; some bodies were built to orgasm, but mine was not. I had other things going for me—it was what it was.
I'm sorry things are so hard. I know what that's like.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you this: it took me a long time to find the best treatment for me -- and things still require tweaking. Moreover, it's unlikely that any one thing will work on its own for you. You likely need a combination of approaches like therapy and medication together. And remember, doing what you have always done will give you what you've always gotten. You can't change your brain on your own.
One thing I can say is, don't give up. Things can get better.
-- Natasha Tracy
I'm so sorry about how hard it is. I know what it's like to appear "fine" but be anything but. I also know how hard it is to ask for help.
I think when you're asking for support, the best thing to do is to think about what you want to say ahead of time and think, specifically, about how to explain what you're going through. You can then think about how to express yourself while not overly concerning the other person. (Keep in mind some concern is normal and unavoidable.)
For example, maybe you want to talk about being depressed. You might say something like, "I feel like everything is grey. Food tastes like sawdust. I feel like I'm never going to get better. I don't know what to do."
All those things are normal and okay. You might want to further express something like this, though, "I know my brain is lying to me about never getting better, but it feels very real."
The second part is important because it helps the other person put what you're saying into perspective.
Other people don't know what it's like to be in your brain, so try to explain it to them and explain how concerned they actually should be.
Finally, if you can't do the above, I understand. It's awful to have to take care of the other person while asking for help for yourself. That doesn't mean you still should ask, though. If they're concerned, then they're concerned, and that's okay.
-- Natasha Tracy
Thank you so much for reaching out to share this part of your story. From one twin to another, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your sister, and I can certainly understand the frustration, discomfort, and insecurities of feeling like your bodies were under constant scrutiny and comparison. I appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to share your insights and experience.
I now live a very depressed life, which is very isolating. I understand the feeling of not wanting to die, but also getting very worn out from living.
One day I want to seek help for myself, and the rest of the time I think it would be best to just soldier on alone.
I hate being such a disappointment to people, whether it's friends, family, or even the rare relationships I encounter.
I've tried medication in the past, I've tried counselling and support groups, I now think that nothing will help, especially not even my own ability to help myself.
If only you could just take whatever is wrong out of my head, as I really hate to think things are just going to get worse until life decides it's time for me to pass.
I appreciate your transparency and step by step ideas to survive as a single person.. Even though I suffer from Bipolar 1, I find that either end of the polar spectrum creates chaos in my life as well as friends and family. These are the more full blown manic times, where literally everyone who cares about me are dealing with hospitalization emergencies. While well , they assume everything is fine. Now is the deep depression where even leaving my house or getting out of bed are really hard. I am overwhelmed and my house is a mess. I do not communicate my depression to anyone but my therapist because I don’t want to make them worry. I’m worried myself because of the unpredictability of this disease.. I am too sad to cry and I’m practically having a panic attack thinking about going to work tomorrow. At any moment I could snap at one of my unlikable colleagues. Even though I need a paycheck, I’m also fully capable of quitting if anyone crosses me. The biggest frustration is that no one seems to understand. I appear normal on the outsides but inside, it can really suck. I’m going to listen to your podcasts and hopefully, you will cover more specifics on how to elicit support without causing panic…and who wants to be appointed this unpleasant job.